5 Signs You Might Be in an Unhealthy or Draining Relationship

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Photo: Courtesy of Leoni Milano

Have you ever noticed how, when you were younger, it was easier for you to bond with more people? That’s because many of us hadn’t yet figured out who we were. As we get older, however, being around certain people drains us, while being around others provides us with a renewed sense of self.

Now more than ever, it’s important to surround yourself with people who add value to your life. Especially if you’re an empath, it can be difficult to spot the signs of a draining friend or significant other. Sometimes, the effects are so gradual, you don’t even realize they’re draining you until you’re completely tapped out of energy. By identifying red flags, you can help put an end to this harmful cycle. 

Red flag #1: You dread spending time with them.

In the beginning, you may feel a surge of energy when making plans to meet up. However, as the interaction approaches, you may experience a slight feeling of dread, making it difficult to get ready and leave the house. This is often a sign a person is not good for you; your body and mind are trying to tell you they are not someone you should associate with. These signs can sometimes feel confusing as they don’t always show up right away. However, over time, you’ll notice the feeling of dread increasing in intensity with each interaction.

Red flag #2: You feel fatigued before you meet up.

Along with dread, you may start feeling tired before you meet up with this person. This is another sign that may not be very obvious at first; however, in time, you’ll realize the connection. The fatigue — paired with dread — will make it feel impossible to interact with this person. These symptoms are not exclusive to physical interactions; sometimes, they will appear when you’re simply texting or talking on the phone with this person.

Red flag #3: You sleep more after the interaction.

After interacting with this person, you may notice that you need more sleep to recover from their draining energy. You may even find yourself napping during the day. There are many things that can make us need more sleep, but if your daily routine has not changed, you may realize this post-interaction fatigue is caused by the person rather than a specific task. Additionally, after you sleep, you may find that you don’t feel as well-rested, which is another strong indication this person is not good for your overall health and wellbeing.

Red flag #4: You need to recharge days after seeing them.

You may notice you need more than just extra sleep to recover from interacting with this person. It could take days or weeks to feel “back to normal” depending on how many interactions you have with this person. Anyone who drains your energy is going to cause an imbalance across all aspects of your wellbeing — emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Often, the more draining the person is, the longer it will take to recover from interacting with them.

Red flag #5: You have mood swings after being with them.

Because of their draining energy, this person may cause you to feel a little off, which can lead to mood swings. You may find that things irritate you more easily and you have less tolerance for other people and inconveniences. Additionally, it may be more difficult to let go of things that have been annoying you. If you find yourself acting out, it’s important to take a look at not only your inner world, but also your outer world. Who are you surrounding yourself with, and is there a correlation between your interactions and your overall mental state? Chances are, if you find yourself acting out of character after interacting with this person, they could very well be the cause.